The State of the Union

I had a disturbing dream. It was President Obama addressing the State of the Union... "Today I have signed a Bill that will save the planet. It doesn’t matter whether or not you are among the 27% according to The Alex Jones Report that think this action is part of a conspiracy involving an Elitist Cult with a mission to discover the most efficient way to enslave the world for the longest period of time possible. For those of you who are among this demographic, I ask you to take this into consideration: no information is not published on purpose. Every piece you receive through the “internet” is available to you only because someone wants you to see it. This kind of Infoterrorism, these Conspiracy Theories were part of the cause supporting another Bill I signed today to secure the flow of information and to ensure that the American People are never again subjected to such preposterous anti-americanism.
The bottom line is that all of you are addicted to energy. Addicted to consumption. It stops now.
You might notice an increase in your electrical bills. One solution: spend a little less time at the computer engaging in the falsely educational bombardment of fabricated misinformation. Change your light bulbs to CFL; it'll curb the cost. Times are going to be rough for a while; you must never forget that when you curb your consumption, you're honoring and serving yourself, your family, your nation, and the world. Should you become ill, you will be cared for. No American will have to go hungry. The emerging Agricultural Reform will put in place a Federal Commitment to developing food production facilities so efficient that one day no one in the world will have to go hungry.

I got a great deal that will completely obliterate the economic crisis. For every ton of greenhouse gases we decrease over the next two years, the Green Enterprise initiatives will remove a good amount of money from the deficit. Now it's going to take some time to obtain the financial security this nation deserves. Many of you are out of work, and that's OK. It just means that you'll be consuming a little less, which is great because it will help us to reach our goal to clear the entire national debt. Jobs will inevitably become available. There is plenty of work to be done. With the ever-increasing financial burden of Greenhouse Gases, businesses are going to want to figure out a way to use less. A cleaner more profitably industrial America will flourish with limitless bounds because of the steps we the people take today.

The Illusion of Free Enterprise will be maintained, and it has always been an illusion, through an exchange system just like we have now. Investors can avoid the burden of Carbon Tax Penalties by contributing to the betterment of the earth through investing in, and sustaining one indivisible nation and Green Enterprise. Green investments will strengthen the foundation of our Country and encourage the emergence of a new industry of commercial Green Investment Banking Facilities that can compete to serve the public and provide a profit, but America reserves the right to audit these facilities and take full control before they become so powerful that they manipulate our market and dilute our legislature to protect their foreign agenda."